One day my son was bodyboarding on his own and kept edging little by little deeper than he knew he should be. The leash on the cheep bodyboard he had consisted of little more than string with a weak Velcro wrist strap and I was worried about him getting out too far and loosing his board. I'd call him in closer and he'd move but 3 minutes later he'd edge back out again. Now my son was a fair swimmer for his age (7 at the time), but was limited to dog paddling. Were he separated from his bodyboard and caught in a rip current it's likely that his lifespan would be 4 to 10 minutes... less if he panicked. I'm painfully aware of this fact every second he is in the water, but up until that day he had been blissfully unaware of it.
For his safety I knew he needed to see how vulnerable he was. I took him out neck deep for me. I had my bodyboard and fins on. The waves were breaking between where we were and the shore. They were 3 to 4 feet and punchy and the was a little current pulling back out where the waves were breaking as the shore. I explained to him quickly that he had been going out deeper than he should and I need him to learn how hard it was to get back in if he got pulled out too far. Then I plopped him off the board and told him to swim for shore.
He immediately pleaded for me to pull him in. Half way in he swore he was going give up, to which I replied that "If you give up in the ocean you drown... you better get to swimming buddy". I talked him through the whole thing, alternating between encouragements that he was almost there and could make it, and firm insistence that I wouldn't help him and that the only way he'd make it in was if he did it himself. He huffed and puffed and swore he was going to drowned and he even got tumbled a bit by the breaking waves on the way in but 5 minutes after I let go of him he pulled himself out of the water under his own power. I was relieved and extremely proud he'd managed to do it himself.
I was never more than arms reach away and he was never in any danger but he learned first hand how dangerous the ocean could be and he quit fighting me the rest of the summer about going out too far. If he were pulled out by a current now he'd know what to expect and I'm fairly certain that he wouldn't panic. Another day I repeated the experience with my daughter in shallower water and calmer conditions. She did fine as well, though for her it was a much needed confidence builder as she was overly afraid of the ocean before.
I worried when the idea occurred to me that it might be to much but neither of my children came out of the experience fearful or resentful and both benefited from it so I guess I handled it well. I now have them regularly practice swimming around in water above their head on calmer days using me holding my bodyboard as a dock to launch them selves from and return to. It's important to have them continually push their limits in a safe environment where you can help them when they need it.
Note: I removed this story above from a recent post on teaching kids to bodyboard because I thought it needed separate discussion. I'd really like to know if any of you have taken similar approaches. I would not go so far as to recommend this approach for other people's children but I do think that instilling respect for the ocean without making kids to fearful requires a difficult, delicate balancing act; this to worked for us.
Your thoughts?
DH
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